Today is Ellison’s last official day at preschool. Last week she brought home the portfolio her teachers have been keeping for the past three years. It’s hard to believe that you can fit three years of learning into these six little pockets.

I sat down and looked through the pictures and read the progress reports and learning narratives the teachers included. I saw a great pattern emerge: the teachers had a definitive strategy for my daughter’s education that not only taught her but allowed her to remain herself in the process.

She went in as this verbal, dramatic, happy little girl who was scattered all over the place.

Three years later, she has emerged that same happy girl full of life and drama, but she now has a fire within herself to learn, ready for kindergarten and whatever comes next. They didn’t change who she was but rather allowed her natural personality to thrive.

If this is important for our kids at school, how much more important is it for our kids and how we help them learn more about Jesus?

The proverb is so familiar…

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

Our role as parents (and as children’s pastors) isn’t to create carbon-cut-out Christians of ourselves. Rather, we meet our kids as they are and make space for their faith to flourish. We create relational environments that allow the Spirit to move within their lives as they become the best person God created them to be.

Honestly, sometimes I wish we could just create robots. It’d be so much easier. But our kids are fearfully and wonderfully made children of God. Our responsibility is to do the difficult work and care for each of our children individually as they come to know their own place in the kingdom of God.

We plan events all the time: bowling parties, winter flings, family productions, etc. We make efforts to insure that all our bases are covered from food to props to games to any other logistic that comes to mind. We plan with a generic end in mind:

Kids will have fun.

Kids will engage with small group leaders.

Parents will engage with their kids.

Lately I’ve been asking myself:
What if we got more specific about the end in mind for our events?

Working through the logistics is a necessary part of event planning.

Defining the intended outcome is even more important.

I wonder if our events would look different if we programmed an event in terms of the stories we want to hear a month from when the event is over.

People are going to talk about your event. What will they say: that they had a good time or that your event was a catalyst to growing faith in their kids?

Defining a goal  in terms of story will help us create more effective programming that will impact beyond simply a fun evening at church.

As we’ve worked toward creating an integrated family ministries team, we’ve looked at how we transition our kids through the system. We want to be sure we’re helping parents and kids navigate the natural transitions that happen throughout their time at Ada Bible Church.

One of these events is coming up at the beginning of June. Our student ministry guys have created a great event for fifth and sixth graders to introduce our fifth graders into LifeLine and initiate them into the club so to speak.

Here’s the video commercial they showed this past week. I love working with these guys!

If effectiveness in ministry is truly measured in the stories we tell, how do we capture those stories?

In our ministries, storytelling must become part of our DNA. This means that from how we structure our meetings to how we interact with our volunteers must continually work towards creating a culture of storytelling. While this seems like a no-brainer, the task of creating this sort of DNA takes time and energy on the part of leadership from the top down.

Here are just a few examples of where we’ve worked to encourage a lifestyle of storytelling:

Meetings:

The first meeting of our week is a family ministries all-staff meeting. In a weekly rotation, each family ministries staff person has a chance to share what is happening in ministry, both the wins and the challenges. The gathering closes with circling around that person and praying for her, thanking God and asking Him for continued blessing.

In our weekly elementary meeting, we take time to do a “week back” evaluation where we look at where we can improve our process but also where we can celebrate the Spirits movement in kids’ lives.

For example: Just yesterday our small group director shared an encounter she had with a parent. The parent told her that they live only five minutes away from our Kentwood Campus yet drive an extra twenty minutes because their child is continually talking about his small group leader and what their group is learning about in Discovery Village. This seems like a small story, yet it tells me that we have an effective small group leader in our ranks that God is using to bring kids to himself.

I share those stories with my boss, who sends them up the line to his fellow senior staffers who pass them on to our boards.

Prayer Requests:

We have a super volunteer who manages a prayerLink e-newsletter. She sends prayer requests and ways specific ways we can pray for people. She also works to find out how the prayer requests were answered and makes a point to share the praise at the end. This allows people not only to see the need and pray for it but also to know how God met people in their need.

In our offices, we have two whiteboards dedicated to prayer requests. Many of these come from our prayerLink, but some come from the conversations happening throughout the day. We want to constantly be aware that God is working in the lives of the people who are attached to our ministry both in our petition and our praise.

Annual Ministry Review:

Every church has them: year-end business meetings to roll-out next year’s budget and programming initiatives. What if this business meeting became a celebration of what God has done in and through your church?

Make this an opportunity to tell stories. Have people who lived through these stories share them either live or on video. Don’t make your business meetings all about the numbers but about the people those numbers represent.

Cast vision for where the church can go based on where the church has been. The testimonies of God’s movement in his people will inspire people to serve in and give towards our ministries. We are stewards of people’s money and time. Allow them to know we’re using their resources wisely and for the greater good of what God is doing in this world.

Those are just three of the ways we seek to create a culture of storytelling in our ministry. There are hundreds of ways to make story a integral part of how you evaluate and take a pulse of church life.

I’d love to hear your ideas. Please comment and let us know how you measure the effectiveness of your ministry.

Jenna and bit the bullet and finally got Liam his own copy of the Jesus Storybook Bible. We’d been talking about it for a while, but he’s been reading really well lately. We knew it was time.

That night I went in to tell him it was time to turn out the light. There he was sitting on the floor of his room with his “bible” open on his lap, mesmerized by the story he was reading.

I almost cried. OK, I actually did tear up just a little bit.

The next morning on the ride down to the bus stop I asked him what his favorite story has been so far. He said, “The one where God made a path for his people. You know, the one about Moses.”

Awesome.

I’ve waited for moments like these. The one where I catch my son reading his bible and talk with him about where the Spirit is moving in his heart. I realize that perhaps he was just reading the new book we got for him. But I also realize that the Word of God even when it is written and adapted at a level that a seven year old can understand has the power to penetrate this heart.

“The one where God makes a path for his people.”

Is that not the essence of the gospel? I’m so thankful to live in a time where the Bible is made relevant for my son that he WANTS to read and find out more about the God who is continually working out a path for his people to escape and find new life.

I pray for more moments like these.

I began this whole process with a blank sheet of paper and a pen. I wrote down every word that came to mind about what I value in our ministry at Ada Bible Church. No editing. Pure brainstorming. After about five or ten minutes I had roughly 30 words.

I needed one word, and none these were that word.

They were good words, a few of which authors chose as their word. But they weren’t my word.

At the same time I was reading Drucker’s The Effective Executive with my mentor. After reading several chapters, I soon realized that what I was trying to communicate was found in the word Effective.

I love amazing kidmin environments, am a fan of fun and engaging curriculum, and find value in putting on a good show as long as those elements work together and unleash relationships to God and others.

I saw effectiveness as the glue that tied my thoughts together.

I realize that I have to measure some tangible results in ministry. Some aspects demand that widgets be counted: did the tech operator hit his cues on time, were the lyrics spelled correctly on the screen, did the small group leader have enough supplies for all her girls? I know that having those items in place is a sign of being effective in ministry. After all, a good structure unleashes great relationships.

Yet, I keep coming back to this: What really matters in ministry isn’t what’s measurable in numbers; what matters is when kids (and volunteers and families) begin living like Jesus. When THAT happens we’re effective at what we do.

I guess I want to make sure we (including myself!) always remember what being effective looks like in our ministries.

Tune in tomorrow… Some ideas on how we do that.

And if you haven’t yet: download What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry?

Matt, Amy, and Henry open up What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry like this:

“Ideas can be infectious. Like a drop of ink spilled on paper, an idea keeps reaching, stretching until it has run dry. What Mat­ters Now is an idea that began with the simplest of questions: “What matters now in children’s ministry?” This is a question that every leader in the field of children’s and family ministry an­swers on a daily basis through their decisions, communication, meetings, programming, curriculum, recruiting, and schedule. This is the question that underscores countless hours of time and effort by pastors, support staff, and volunteers. This is the question that gets answered every time a church opens its doors to children and families. This question matters.”

They’re right.

Whatever your craft or field of expertise, “What matter’s now?” is a question that you need to continual ask yourself. In a world where life comes at us at 100 mph, we have thousands of options for spending our limited time and budgets. How we answer that question will determine the priorities for our staff, volunteers, and resources. Ultimately, in children’s ministry the answer to that question will determine how we care for the most precious commodity: the next generation.

I was humbled when Matt emailed me a few months ago and asked me to join the other 32 children’s pastors featured in this book. We have all been wrestling with this question for a long time. The What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry project gave us a chance put those thoughts into words but also to bring more people in on the conversation. While the opinions offered are as varied as the authors themselves, they each represent an approach to children’s ministry birthed from the trenches of service to kids throughout the world.

The authors invite you to think about:

What if the church intersected more with the natural milestones in a family’s life?
Does living in the digital age matter to our approach to teaching kids?
If we were confident in our role, would it change the way we lead and serve?
What happens when the “easy to track” stuff becomes all we think about?
Are we capturing a child’s imagination when we communicate with them?
How willing are we to experiment with how we minister to kids?
What would ministry look like if we partnered with other churches and built the Kingdom?
What is all this ORANGE stuff about?
Seriously, parents are important!
Are we selling cheap grace?
Do we have a clear end in mind when it comes to our content?

And so much more…

As you read each entry, we invite you to enter into a dialogue with us. These are ideas at this point in our journey serving kids. They may tweak and change in the ebb and flow of ministry throughout our lives. I know that I’m thrilled to walk this journey with such amazing people such as YOU who keep me focused yet continually thinking about what matters now.

Go over to the What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry site and download the book. NOW.

Side Note: As a design geek myself, I have to give a HUGE shout out to Imago who did a great job on the layout and design. Check them out too! They’re working to integrate the power of story and multi-sensory experience with how we worship in our faith communities.

I hinted at this project in a post called “One Word” back in March: “What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry?”

The challenge was to find one word that summarized what we felt was most important in children’s ministry right now. What was even more challenging was to elaborate on that one topic with a limit of only 200 words. I’m humbled to be part of this project alongside some of my best friends and favorite voices in children’s ministry including Sam Luce, Amy Dolan, Kenny Conley, Gina McClain, Henry Zonio, Matt Guevara, Christine Yount Jones, and Anthony Prince. These leaders have razor-sharp focus with vision and strategy to push the boundaries of children’s ministry forward with clarity and purpose.

I got a preview copy last night delivered in my in-box. And while I may be biased here, this is a seriously good project that you will not want to miss.

For more information about where to download this FREE children’s ministry resource, follow “What Matter’s Now?” on Facebook or Twitter.

The summer after I got my driver’s license I was on staff at a camp in New Hampshire. Not many of the teens on staff at this camp had their own cars, but thankfully there was always someone with a car to borrow. One of the cars we used was this HUGE station wagon, a real hunk of junk. It ran but barely. The gauges didn’t work. Meaning there was no way to know how much gas you had left in the tank.

You know where this is going.

Yes, I was THAT guy who ran out of gas… with three friends in the car. I was embarrassed, frustrated, and angry.

I wanted to be mad at the lady who let me borrow her car. After all, SHE should have known that the tank was almost empty and told me about it. But ultimately, this was my fault for not asking beforehand or going right to the gas station and making sure I had enough fuel to make it into town. I wasn’t prepared for the journey.

As we give of ourselves in ministry, the reservoir of spiritual and emotional energy will deplete. If we’re not careful, we’re bound to wake one morning with a heart that is tired and growing frustrated by the calling God has on our lives.

As we serve as shelters for families, we must have our own places of rest and rejuvenation along our own journey with God.

Refueling the Tank.

Who are the people or what are the structures that you have in place in your world who will give you back the energy you’ve spent on ministry?

Ultimately you know yourself best, but here are some suggestions that I have found helpful in my own life.

MENTOR: As much as I would like to believe the contrary, I am fully aware that I will never arrive. I’m thankful to have a guru in my life that helps me understand where I can grow and works with me to hone those areas. I meet with him every other week.

OBJECTIVE VOICES: I have a couple of trusted friends who don’t live around town but I trust as people who will speak truth into situations. They take what I say, see past my side of the story and ask me good questions about what’s happening. They help me see past myself to the bigger picture. These are people who I e-mail, call or Skype every so often as necessary.

SMALL GROUP: I have two guys who have the ability both to encourage and kick my butt at the same time. They are my confidants and fellow travelers. I would not be who I am today without them. I meet with these guys most every week, if not in person over e-mail and SMS.

PARTNERS IN CRIME: I am so very thankful for other people doing what I do. They help me become better at what I do while not making me feel stupid for asking questions. I get to hang out with many these people every day on Twitter, Google Talk, and e-mail. The occasional phone call is great too. And of course, in person at the Orange Conference!

CHURCH: Never underestimate the importance of worshipping with the body of believers that you serve every week. We are part of the redemption movement with a local church. Connect with them in communion and corporate worship. I love podcasts as much as the next person, but there is nothing like raising your voice in song with a room full of Jesus followers and hearing a message with fellow travelers on the journey. I’m just starting to get back into the habit of attending services. The experience has been invaluable.

How about you? Where do you refuel? Who in your life is speaking grace and truth into your life, offering you a shelter of your own?

If you travel enough, chances are that at some point you’re gonna get lost.  We set off with Google maps and GPS devices with the best laid plans and intentions. However, eventually we’ll hit an unexpected road block, construction zone, or obstacle. We’ll have no clue how to navigate around them. Inevitably, we’ll need to stop and ask for direction.

Of course the same happens in life. We read the right books and have the right friends. We parent with an end in mind with moderate success even. Then it hits: an inconsolable temper tantrum, a question about God, or worse, a question about sex, and we’re left wondering how we’re ever going navigate this one. We just need some direction, a road map how to make it through or around the road-block.

Resources

For the past year, we’ve been asking ourselves about what we need to create in order to help point families in the right direction. We offer a family production, parenting seminars on sexuality, internet and media awareness, not to mention forums for first-time parents. But we need to keep asking ourselves:

Are the resources we’re creating meet what our families need?

And if this is the content they need, are we packaging it in a way that is accessible?  The right format, night, time, etc.?

Do people know we have resources available? What’s our marketing strategy?

Do these resources fit into the greater picture of what we want to accomplish for families?

Who do we need to help us with these? Do we need to recruit other areas in the church (adult education, worship arts, etc.) to help us make these resources better?

What is already available that we can offer parents through our ministry?

We are blessed to live in a time where family ministry resources are abundant. However, that also means there is a lot to sort through. Not everything will be a good fit for your families. Don’t offer a resources until you’ve tried it out for yourself. Be sure that what you’re offering speaks to your vision for ministry. Don’t confuse parents with mixed messages. That is like giving wrong directions to someone who is lost: it’ll only make it worse.

NOTE: I’m excited to check out Cue Box from ReThink as a way to help parents connect with what their kids are learning on the weekends. It will align with our strategy and hopefully meet parents where they can use it. If you’re a 252 Basics user, check out their Family Times virtue packs which paved the way for Cue Box!