This week I just learned that there is a whole network of kid’s ministry bloggers out there that know each other and have some street cred and IMMEDIATELY I felt this need to get in the mix, start a kid’s min blog, and get myself into that world and make a name for myself. Seriously! I don’t even WANT a blog like that. I’ve thought about it and dismissed it over a thousand times, yet coming into contact with these people, all of the sudden I feel the need to be the best of them. I think I have a humility problem or at jealousy problem or maybe I’m just very much in need of Jesus.

I’m guessing that it’s probably a good combination of all three.

This happens time and again, this need to be larger than life. And for what? Not ministry but leverage, pull, a name someone wants to drop. This past week I’ve just been nailed with the fact that I need to get my motives in check (again).

1.  youVersion: On February 6, I read about Jesus’ street cred with the poor and marginal in Mark2:13-17. I wrote this:

“Even in ministry so many of us can be accused of name dropping or surrounding ourselves with the right people to show the other people that we’re important. We try and leverage our own ministries by our association with the “important” people in the church world. I love that Jesus leverages his ministry completely opposite of that. He hangs out with the outsiders to prove that his mission isn’t about hanging out with “important” people. It’s almost as if he makes sure that the Pharisees see him eating with the sinners in order that he may give his mission statement to them. So good. So convicting. How would my ministry be different if I cared about my street cred as Jesus cared for his own?”

2. Pat Dryburgh, my Twitter buddy wrote a GREAT post on his own struggle with jealousy and the wanting to be “that guy.” Check it out here.  This post hit the nail on the head with what I’ve been feeling.

3. Studying Jesus at the Last Supper in John 13 and 14: I’ve had to do some rewrite for our curriculum, and I got lost in these passages. Jesus is essentially saying once and for all. “I’m the MAN!” Yet even his he holds his disciples with care and love. Says he’s leaving and coming back and sending a Comforter in the meantime. He demonstrates his love over his power as Savior of the world.

4.  Men’s Group: We got on this topic (accidentally?) on Wednesday morning. These guys are awesome. These three quotes cut to my heart more than any words I heard yesterday: “Arrogance can have no place in Christianity.” “Our brokenness is more of an advocate for Christianity than the most eloquent of words.” “Humility is hard: it’s like if you go for it, you won’t get it.”

Too easily I can get focused on the wrong thing about ministry, caught up in the name drop and who I’ve had dinner with or caught up in the number of families I serve rather than the lives of the families I serve.

I must constantly remind myself (or have others do it for me) that I am called to be the best Dan Scott that God made. I must live true to the calling he has placed on my life as husband, father, pastor, or whatever hat I wear at any given moment.

After all, this life isn’t really about me is it? It’s about Him.