I need words. No really, I need inspiration. I’m a writer, which is I guess what makes writing more difficult, but I should have words right? I don’t have them. I’ve had them before: I don’t have them now. Now, I have thoughts. Random thoughts bouncing all over my head. Thoughts that seem meaningless at this point without the words to give them structure and life.

I need time. Time to allow those thoughts to form into reality. I need an evolution in the best sense of the word. But evolution takes time, and I need time. Evolution won’t do.

I need a creative act. One creative act to remind me that I’m still a writer just without the right words. An artist whose canvas is looking a little blank at this moment in time.

I need paint, a note or two, some clay maybe. Or one word to express the beauty and the life I’m experiencing. Perhaps one word to lament the growing pains of a growing life for which I’m filled with both gratitude and impatience. Or just one word to rejoice at God’s richest blessings which I do not deserve but for which I am so, so grateful.

I need words.

This past week at Camp KidJam, the theme for the week was “Jump: Put faith into motion.” As I was telling the kids stories about how faith is found, lived out, questioned, and reassured, I couldn’t help remember that this is the 10 year anniversary of jumping off and taking our own leap of faith.

A calling without a concrete goal. A place to live without jobs to pay for it. A few friends close by with family hundreds of miles away. Ten years ago this summer, Jenna and I moved out to Grand Rapids, to begin a new chapter of our story. People must have thought we were crazy; thankfully none of them told us so. I imagine they let us leap knowing that we’d be falling safely into the arms of God.

As I think back over the past 10 years, many stories replay in my mind. Times I questioned what God was doing. Moments I wanted to pack it up and return to where life was safe. Tears we cried because we were lonely and just needed a familiar face, someone who knew our history.

Yes, it’s been difficult, but God’s faithfulness is abundant. Seeing God’s hand in leading me to the perfect job. Our roots being planted in our first (and second) home and in our church family who loves us so very much. And of course those tears of joy over starting our own family and writing new chapters of our history.

Without a doubt in my mind, we were supposed to jump feet first in faith all those years ago. While living out God’s plan has had it’s share of roller coaster moments, he has carried us on each ride of this journey. We do not put our faith into motion without a net. We have a loving Father who catches us in his arms and holds us tight, all while telling us “You are mine, you are mine, you are mine… I have you now and always will.”

The night before I left for Camp KidJam, my family and I were talking at the diner table. Liam asked, “Dad, who’s the most important person at KidJam?”

I didn’t really know how to answer. I said something about the camp director, my boss while I’m at camp. I mentioned something about how we all are important, that if one person wasn’t there, the whole camp wouldn’t happen.

Jenna, in her wisdom, spoke up. She said.

“Well, other than God, the most important person at camp is that little boy or little girl who doesn’t know Jesus yet.”

Of course, that’s the answer.

We do what we do not for us but for each child who walks through the doors of camp. We don’t know all of their stories, where they are are at in their journey with God. Those kids are why we do what we do.

I pray that I don’t lose that focus this week, this year. I pray that God meets each child and brings them further along in their journey of knowing Him and the power of his Son.

ps. Thanks, Jenna, for the reminder about who is the most important.

We should have people in our lives who are more than us:

More Wise

More Hospitable

More Willing

Pick your positive adjective, put “more” in front of it. You should have this sort of person in your life.

This past week, people who we’re just really beginning to know showed up to help us paint our basement… three times.

More giving.

The third time the husband came over to paint, he said he was just trying to get out of packing for vacation. His actions spoke louder than his excuse for coming over. This is just who he is, who they are, giving and generous. I realized that these are people I need in my life. Not for what they will do for me, but for who they can help me become as I witness them serve and give freely of their time.

I’m not the best at everything I do or hope to be. I need people who are more than me in my life to demonstrate how I should be responding to the world.

Here’s the challenge. Figure out where you need more in your life. Find someone in your life who is the epitome of that. Hang out with them. Figure out their secret.

And become more ______________ .

We took the kids to see Toy Story 3 last week. (Finally, I know!) No surprise, I loved it. As I’ve pondered the film over the past few days, a few thoughts have come to mind (spoiler alert) in no particular order:

1. I loved the scene where the toys began grasping each other’s hands at the landfill.  When people are headed into the fire, they need to hold on to each other’s hands. You may or may not get out alive, but at least you’re in it together.

2. You are never too old to play with toys. Never lose your childish imagination.

3. I don’t even want to think about my children leaving for college yet. Life maybe crazy, but I’m not ready for them to grow up (yet).

4. Yes, I cried. I’m a sentimental, sappy sort of guy. I’m totally OK with that.

And finally…

5. With a bit of disco and flare, Ken and Barbie REALLY can live happily ever after… as can Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. Spice up your life, embrace adventure, have fun, love hard and stay together!

I vividly remember this one Sunday several years ago. I had recently been fired from my first church job (another story for another day). I was working on a degree from seminary with hopes that I’d be working in a church. I was questioning my calling in light of my circumstances. In short, I was confused at what God was doing in my life.

That Sunday, I sat in my seat somewhat lost and praying that God would meet me and give me some sense of direction…

And then my friend Jeff took the stage and began a new sermon series: The Land Between.

Over the next several weeks of this series, God met me. Through Jeff’s teaching on Moses leading the Israelites through the wilderness, God reminded me that he hadn’t abandoned me but was still working in me as I traveled the land between where I had been and where he was taking me. God is never through with us.

Jeff writes, “…the Land Between—that space where we feel lost or lonely or deeply hurt—is fertile ground for our spiritual transformation and for God’s grace to be revealed in magnificent ways.”

I’m thrilled that Jeff was asked to publish this series as a book that Zondervan released last week.

As I’ve been reading Jeff’s The Land Between, now on the other side of that time of deep confusion, I see that God’s hand was carrying me when I couldn’t stand. I’m reminded once again that I needed to travel through the wilderness in order for God to use me in a place far better than I could have ever imagined.

I’ve also realized something else. To some extent we never will fully leave the Land Between this side of eternity. God is continually working in the transitions of life to make us more like himself to be used for his workmanship. I journey isn’t over.

If you’re experiencing a transition where you’re having a hard time seeing God, this book is obviously for you.

If you’re feeling stuck, I’m pretty sure these words will offer comfort and hope.

If you think you’re finished with the Land Between, you should probably pick up a copy as well. God is still up to something great in your life. You still have some road to travel.

God used Jeff’s words as a HUGE catalyst for growth and healing in my life. I pray they’ll do the same for others as well.

You can buy the book here: The Land Between

Hear Jeff’s other teachings from our church here: Ada Bible Church

Jeff will also be speaking at Leadership Summit this year. Find out more: Global Leadership Summit

One year ago today, we met this little guy for the first time:

I remember hardly recognizing him. We’d only seen these staged pictures of him that our agency sent us. He appeared big. In person, he was the opposite. He was small and frail.

Vulnerable.

He walked out with a lollypop in one hand, his caregiver holding the other with swarms of children cheering and jumping for joy all around him. They were celebrating that Taye’s new Mama and Papa had come to take him home.

And we did…

I could never have guess the sort of impact Taye would have on my life. The reality has been a spread of ups and downs, joys and frustrations. When Taye loves, he does fiercely, giving all of himself. That same tenacity comes into play when he’s angry and stubborn. But through every moment the constant has been love.

Before bringing Taye home, I always saw adoption through the eyes of a child who receives a new name, home, family, care, etc. Now that he’s home and we’ve been together for a year, I’m beginning to see adoption through the eyes of the Heavenly Father.

Our Heavenly Father adopts us, brings us into his family, gives us a new name and the rights of being His. We enter into this new relationship with the baggage of our past, the sin, the hurt and pain of the life we lived apart from a loving Father.

We grow. We bond. We become one with Him and the rest of His family.

And in a roller coaster of emotions and action, we forget who our Father is. We begin reverting back to the way we lived without Him.

How this must break our Father’s heart.

However, he continues to love and call us His own, loving us through our  mess, and making us into his likeness.

This year has taught me about God’s love for us. It’s a relentless love that I pray I show to Taye.

Taye has come a long way in the past year. I believe he know that he’s with his forever family. There are still moments we don’t understand, moments that break our heart.

Still, we love.

We love because he is a child of God. We love because he is our child.

Today I’m so thankful to my Heavenly Father who loved us first and gave us the right to become His sons and daughters. I’m thankful for my daily reminder of that in the smile of my son.

As we walked across the dune on our way back down to the beach, she reached up.

“Daddy, can you hold my hand?”
“Of course.”

She held on tight as we walked the rest of the way down to where we could see the others enjoying the lake. In a flash she tore off to join the others but not before I grabbed a quick shot to remember the moment.

Our kids need to know they are loved and liked. We need to assure them they are more important than our phones, computers, and books.

We have a short window of time where our children will want to be near us, just being present with us. All too soon they will stop asking to snuggle with us in the wee hours of the morning, ask me to read them a book, play a game, or admire a Lego creation. Someday they won’t ask to hold my hands.

For now though I will savor each time I’m asked, and do everything in my power to say “yes!”

These past few weeks have been a blur. Life has been happening with hardly a moment to process it all. Yet, sitting down for just a minute last night I realized that even in the blur of life, God is growing me and shaping me into the person he desires. I’m finding it’s possible to find focus in the blur that is my life right now.

In a brainstorm of sentences, here’s what I’m seeing:

Deconstruction is a good thing… Especially if what’s being reconstructed in its place is better than expected.

Pray for the little things and watch God work. He does, and He will.

God’s timing is more perfect than mine. Why can’t I remember that?

Ministry is about team work, whether you’ve known your team for five years or five minutes.

Talking about Jesus to junior highers for a week is good for your faith.

Each sentence needs an entire post to unpack what’s going through my head. Hopefully in the next few days (or weeks) I’ll be able to write down my thoughts and share them. For now I rest in the fact that God is at work even when life is crazy. I need to create more space to notice what he’s doing.

How do you create space to breathe in the midst of the blur?